This is me

Like many young girls I wrote diary. It only happened when I was sad or upset as the pages never were enough to memorize my happy moments. Some days I even wrote poems. Nowadays I still yearn for creativity and every now and then I write down some words in my journal or on a restaurant napkin. However, the world is getting more abstract and as time goes by, Sweden gets more Swedish, Spain more Spanish... At the same time I grow stronger and learn how to appreciate the worst and the best from each country. However, within myself there are no cultural or national limits and the cultural changes and ongoing fusions arise even more yearing for creativity. Still it's hard to collect all impressions and beautiful thoughts and most of all I would like to understand what a country or a culture really do to our mind. Since we do not choose where to get born how could we ever know? The human mind is an amazing thing and Internet is a surreal world. Let's see what I can do with it... and with this blogg. I hope you will enjoy it. Welcome to my national park!

Swedish desert (I)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

In love with a voice?
- soon I will back (or remove this blog)

Sun(less)day inspiration

The summer is over and it's time to get serious again. I start with one of my favourites found at the Rastro in Madrid long time ago. Some inspiration can only do me well. And when will I do that second tatoo?

Future guitar heroe?

News value?

When studying at ITESM in Monterrey (Mexico) it didn't take long before I heard about this girl, famous for driving drunk and for her typical expression "no choqué, me choquaron" (I didn't crash, they crashed me). For this mistake she got expelled from ITESM where she studied although I can't say if it was due to the drinking, the drinking and driving or the getting caught by the Mexican police.

When doing some YouTube surfing this morning I find the clip above. I ask myself whether this is something you actually run on the national news? And to feel sorry for someone because this someone has no access to a family that takes care of her, medical help and a preast (sacerdote) is special things to state on a news program that in my meaning should be everything but subjective and judging. If they wouldn't have excluded her from the school system in the beginning and offered her those things that they are so sure that she is needing, maybe things would have turned out differently. However, I still believe that nothing good can come out of broadcasting a 22 year old girl passing the limits. Maybe the real news value of this story is the fact that we are dealing with a Mexican girl doing things that apparently no Mexican girl should do.

I don't feel sorry for the girl, I feel sorry for the Mexican news and communication channels.

I want a cat

to hang out with me during the days and sing a little when we are really bored. She could even sit on the kitchen table while I prepare the lunch.

El Perro del Mar

A friend of mine found my copy. A lost twin? No matter what she might be it's always fun to see yourself in other people and if that's not enough her music is great.

The abstract to my thesis (Achieving Sustainable Development in Azerbaijan - Possible Impacts of Foreign Aid) is now published at Azerbaijan Now. For those of you that find it interesting, don't hesitate to ask me for a copy. And last but not least, keep on reading - despite my few updates (I'll be back!). Over and out.

Thesis - check

Bit by bit I can step out of the bubble. After 12 weeks of writing the thesis is finally done! For those who would be interested to know a little bit more about Azerbaijan and about foreign aid's impact on the process of achieving sustainable development in the country, I invite you to visit http://www.azerbaijannow.blogspot.com/ at the end of the month to read not only my thesis but also what has been published previously.

And now? UPDATE life in general but above all - more work and economics, econometrics this time. But first a 4:19 minutes break to celebrate this day. I hope you'll enjoy!

Flawless
It goes up and down and the creativity I wanted to let out, there is obviously no time for. It makes me melancolic and a little bit stressed. Many things make me stressed nowadays; the feeling of not being a good friend, turn into something boring and uninspiring, be too far away from lovely times of my life, not be able to speak German or not have one single chance to talk Spanish. Nor time to write.

Well, here at least a song and a better version than I ever heard before. Reminds me of the summer I painted the fence of my dad's house. Red color, cut jeans shorts and Alanis in the headphones. Those were the times although I would never exchange them for my present.

And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live

I will start writing again. Don't ask me how, when or about what but here comes this time again when I feel that the need will grow bigger and bigger until I write those texts about those things that somehow just flow within this fragile body of mine, full of toothache, rabies vaccine and thoughts about past, present and future. I have a feeling that Mynationalpark is constantly left behind and that what is written only stays at Azerbaijannow, the struggle of being professional, controlling and predictable. The practical and logical part of myself has possessed my body ever since I went to Azerbaijan. I made it clear to myself that this time it was nothing but professional, not a holiday or a run out. Simply professional. But it's true that I am, just like everyone, so much more than just professional. Life isn't predictable and when being part of life, well... unpredictable comes with it.

Like most of you know I am now in Germany working as never before with Social Entrepreneurship and strategies for development. Finally I am doing what I always wanted to do - channeling my knowledge and passion into new knowledge, passion and above all - development. But for every new chapter I read in that book by Haruki Murakami I have next to the bed I know that I have to be more creative. It was long time since Spain, long time since the happiness in Mexico. Long time since I read something that I actually enjoy. Murakami is amazing, he opened the world I was almost closing. And here I am again - or at leastso I think. This time I won't let it slip away - science doesn't have to exclude creativity. Así de sencillo.

My heart is aching

After the 25th of September it may be that I won't recognize what I love the most in this world; Madrid. Today El País gave me the worst news that I could ever get. For some of you it may sound stupid but for me it matters quite a lot and it feels like Madrid made these changes without my approval. Maybe it was a stupid choice after all to pretend that I can be this long time without going to the place I consider my home? Three years was obviously enough for them to reform the entire Sol square and put my beloved bear in another place than he belongs to. Read the whole article on how El oso y el madroño se van con el Tío Pepe.

Still life

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Baku is under construction and so is my life. I wake up every day to the sound of hammering, sawing and working. It's never quiet down here and I am truly amazed by the energy of this city. In Azerbaijannow I've mentioned this construction boom many times and more than once I've compared Baku with Dubai. However, when you come close to many of the major construction projects, you see how the structure is vague and the facades are falling off. It's not strange that you get to miss or at least aim for sustainability while being here. Every day is a day of knew knowledge, experience and struggle.

My internship didn't turn out to be what I expected but I think I got to know, see and understand much more than I could possibly imagine. So, life takes now a different turn and in one and a half month I'm off to Germany. In Germany I will write my thesis on aid vs. social entrepreneurship and carry out an internship for a Swedish based organization called Social Entreprenuership Forum (SE-Forum). Azerbaijan will follow me during this process as well but this time it will be linked to sustainability. Above you can see that I found a still life when walking home from an excursion with internally displaced kids yesterday. However, right now my life is nothing but still. I hope you are indulgent with my overall renovating.

Hubo un lugar, Cuba linda

Today I miss Cuba. At the moment I am full of new impressions, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Germany... Russia, Armenia and why not a little bit of France? Too much impressions can make you miss the old impressions and today I even miss my "pachita Cubana", the lady that looked after us so well while spending a week in la Havana. Now I have an Azerbaijani babushka protecting me from the bad things in this world. In some way she lives a similar life to the life of my "pachita Cubana", with a little bit more money and more belongings but still limited to the life a political system gave her. The strong ladies of this world, the ladies that experienced how power changes and never gives anything back. Today I miss Cuba and my pachita. I have my babushka but today it doesn't help me to miss Cuba any less. I dedicate this song to my two strong ladies.

The key to my heart

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Georgia (4)
- Zugdidi

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

318 kilometres west of Tbilisi and 30 kilometres from the Black Sea you find the 69 ooo inhabitants city Zugdidi. On our journey to Georgia we went specifically to this city to visit the female non-governmental organisation Gaenati. We stayed in small Zugdidi for less than two days and got a fantastic introduction to the organisation held by the young and engaged people from the Youth Club (partly supported by the UN). We ended the day having a great georgian dinner with traditional music, dance, and wine. We were more than happy to come to this amazing organisation that works so well to improve the situation of women, children and IDP's (Internally Displaced People) from the Abkhazian conflict.

We got to spend the night in one of the old houses in the city, a house that usually is used to accommodate UN-ambassadors. It's not often you get the chance to see houses like that anymore. Maybe in Cuba.

Georgia (3)
- Sighnaghi

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Monday 22th of June

More photos from Georgia will soon be uploaded. In this moment I'm busy updating my new blog about my internship in Azerbaijan. Please visit it on www.azerbaijannow.blogspot.com

Georgia (2)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

This is the view from the flat where we stayed in Tbilisi. In Georgia there are a lot of similar views that clearly remind us of the end of the former Soviet and of how people never got a chance to build up the idea of common benefit. The U.S.S.R was disbanded years ago but the consequences of its existence are still present: hundreds of different styles all tucked into one great building complex. What's the idea of doing something together, what reason is there to install electricity in the starcase that works for everyone, it's just another expense, or is it? If the "common" fooled you once, if the "common" didn't work out that first time, why should it ever work again?

I believe that common under pressure is a "common" that never will work. The flats may look ramshackle on the outside, but don't let the first impression fool you - the inside can be lovely. That's another thing I understood while being in Georgia: despite the difficulties to agree to certain things there is, at least on the inside, a common interest of a better future.

Georgia (1)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

I am back with a serie of photos from Georgia. Hopefully I can contribute with something new. Georgia is a fascinating country with its delightful people and impressive historical background. This trip made me understand that Georgia, as any other nation, is so much more than a victim of geopolitics or regional tensions. However, I want to start with this photo from a flat in Tbilisi, capital of Georgia. I believe the photo needs no further explanation.

I will be off to Tbilisi, Georgia for two weeks from today. Hopefully I will have an entire serie of new interesting photos when I'm back in Sweden. For those still reading my blog, thank you!

There is a slight possibility that from june 2009 there will be a new blog, together with mynationalpark, describing my daily work in Azerbaijan. I hope some of you will still follow me then. Take care!

Scania (II)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Small old fashioned houses, open landscapes, mills, and tall trees. This could be Scania or why not Sweden? When shooting pictures it's extremely easy to fool the viewers eye and stick to stereotypes. I don't trust photos like I used to. What you get is what you see and not what really is. What is anyway? It's impossible to shoot from every angle, and even if we could there would always be different ways of interpretation. Today I give you this "swedish" view of Sweden with one single excuse: it's still Sweden.

Scania (I)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

It has been almost two months since I last made an entry. Sometimes the inspiration just goes away. It's as simple as that. Hopefully I'll be back from now on.

What happens when we stop caring?

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

While waiting for my mexican friend outside Kulturhuset in Stockholm last month I found this little note on the ground. It said "What happens when we stop caring?" or in spanish "Qué pasa cuando dejemos de preocuparnos?" It was a beautiful little note since it made me think. It's an easy philosophy of mine: everything that make us think I consider as beautiful. Well then, what happens? What happens when we stop caring? Life ends I would say. To care about people and situations is to care about yourself. Thus, when you stop caring you also stop living.

And that's my message to you dear friends. Don't stop caring now, don't stop caring in 2009.

Wild

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Hoy ha sido un día muy especial para mi. El día de Nobel y la entrega del premio Nobel de la Paz. Siempre se me hace un día especial ya que me hace pensar en el futuro... en mi trabajo y en mi lucha personal. Espero poder hacer un cambio algún día. Cada año lloro un día fijo... este día! Pero de alegría al ver que tan sólo una persona puede hacer un cambio. Este año ha sido Ahtisaari, mediador finladés y un ejemplo a seguir. "Peace is about will". Además... 12 % del dinero del fondo Nobel viene de la inversión que hizo Alfred Nobel en la compañía petrolera de sus hermanos mayores en Azerbajdzjan... Me parece genial (y a la vez algo contadictorio) ya que el año que viene me iré a Azerbajdzjan durante 7 meses. El mundo es un pañuelo...

Stockholm (II)
- water

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Stockholm (I)
- houses

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Manhattan (II)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)

Manhattan (I)

(Photo: Karin Larsson)